Siblings Beyond Rivalry

When are Sibling Rivalry and Conflict a Problem?

Siblings Matter

Siblings are important to children’s lifelong well-being and ability to form healthy relationships with others. Brothers and sisters also help shape children’s sense of self and how they manage their emotions and resolve conflicts. Most parents hope their children will be friends for life. It can be disappointing to see interactions erupt into arguments, fighting, and bouts of unkindness.

Siblings Beyond Rivalry was created by researchers and sibling experts at the University of New Hampshire to help parents of young children aged 0-7. If you struggle to understand what normal sibling behavior is, feel overwhelmed by your children’s sibling rivalry, or want to improve how you respond to sibling conflict, our research-backed resources can help. If your children get along great, we have resources to keep their relationships strong, too.

Parent and Caregiver Guides

Parental guidance is key to helping children build strong, lifelong sibling relationships. But sometimes, the way parents respond to children’s behavior can make sibling rivalry, conflict, and aggression worse over time, harming children’s well-being.

To help parents and caregivers of children aged 0-7, we designed two short, evidence-based resources on how to manage children’s rivalry and conflicts and promote life-long positive sibling relationships.

Managing Sibling Rivalry, Conflict, and Aggression in Childhood
FREE DOWNLOAD
Helping Siblings Get Along: A Guide to Preventing Childhood Conflict and Aggression
FREE DOWNLOAD

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Parents Share their Experiences

Frequently Asked Questions

Why was Siblings Beyond Rivalry created?

Many parents want help. They seek to reduce sibling rivalry and conflict, but don’t have the tools to manage them. Siblings Beyond Rivalry is a science-based resource aimed at helping parents prevent and stop sibling rivalry and conflict by teaching them and their children communication and emotional regulation skills. Above all, Siblings Beyond Rivalry’s goal is to help parents support strong, life-long sibling relationships.

What makes Siblings Beyond Rivalry different from other parenting advice?

Siblings Beyond Rivalry offers up-to-date, science-based resources created by leading experts on sibling dynamics who have conducted research on parenting and siblings for over two decades. For more information on who we are and the work we do, visit unh.edu/saara/about.

What are the benefits of these resource guides?
  • Parents will be better able to identify, prevent, and respond to sibling rivalry, conflict, and aggression.
  • Parents will be better equipped to coach children to develop social and emotional skills that are important for positive sibling relationships and relationships with others, including friends.
  • Parents can help reduce sibling rivalry and conflict, which will likely improve children’s mental and physical health, relationships with others, and the quality of their family relationships.
Am I a terrible parent if my children are always fighting and one child feels bad?

No. Many parents struggle with their children not getting along. Your interest in seeking resources signals you are a good parent who cares about your children’s well-being and relationships with others. Our resource guides will help you respond to sibling conflict and create a positive family atmosphere.

What is sibling abuse?

Brothers and sisters sometimes fight, and small arguments or minor rough behavior can be a normal part of growing up. But sometimes the behavior becomes more serious. Sibling abuse happens when one child has more power than the other and uses it in a hurtful way that can cause injury or emotional harm.

Where can I learn more?

Additional evidence-based resources on parenting siblings and sibling rivalry, conflict, aggression, and abuse are available on the Sibling Aggression and Abuse Research and Advocacy Initiative (SAARA) website at unh.edu/saara.

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